WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
