Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
