YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
