She is in my trunk
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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