Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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