Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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