I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
