Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
