Is it normal to miss your booty call?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
