hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
