Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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