Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
