fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
