I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
