I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You can't motorboat a personality
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
