hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
