Dual....:-)
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
