you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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