Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
