We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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