You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
