where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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