You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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