well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
