then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
handjob tips. give me some.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We had sex on a dog bed..
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
