So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
