My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
