it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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