he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
