my room smells like sperm. sweet.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
