so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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