Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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