hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
What a dumb baby whore.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
