Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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