you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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