You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
