We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
