who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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