just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
