You really coming over, don't trick.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
