So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I think I sprained my soul last night
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
