I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
