Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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