So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize