I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
