i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
