I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
