with your own penis?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
