Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
