I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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