Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
