An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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