i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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