we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Let's get the cat blown out
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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