Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
